Post by neko on Mar 12, 2012 16:36:54 GMT -4
.ASHER.JAMES.CALAVARIE.
name: asher james calavarie
age: 20
gender: male
sexuality: heterosexual
member group: beyond heart, lead guitar
personality:
asher is a very proud individual, guarded. he has been since he was young drummed into from an early age. you can't show weakness or vulnerability, so has he always thought. so that's how he acts, guarded, and sometimes comes across as a bit cold at times. Though this is not always the case. He can be talkative when he wants, and is known to be rather immature at times. he isn't overly loud though, nor is he all that shy. he just doesn't like to be proven wrong which can be a problem at times.
another problem with him is that he is incredibly difficult to figure out, mainly because he's so fleeting and indecisive. he can't make up his mind worth anything, and this can really tick some people off, especially those he acres about most. he is also not a very honest person and always seems to lie, for no real reason other than he doesn't want to be seen as weak. all this just means him seem like a jerk, which he can be, because he is not the type of person that wears his heart on his sleeve. he keeps everything bottled up, which perhaps isn't a good thing.
he can be quick to anger, as he gets annoyed rather easily. he is immature for his twenty years though he doesn;t seem to care. but something that ash is, is that he's very protective of the ones he cares about, and he can be loyal when hewants to be. he will often put himself in danger and has done in the past, for those he wants to protect, those he has had feelings for. but has trouble expressing them the right way. asher is also up for trouble, a bit on the reckless side too.
history: asher didn't have the most easiest of upbringing. his father was away in the military alot and his mother, as long as he could remember, was sick. he was never told the reason, he guessed that his father was just trying to protect him. that's how things went in the household, bottling up emotions, something asher picked up from an early age. his father had to leave his job to look after Asher's mother when ash was just two. things were usually very quiet and lonely.
he was an alone child , which he had to admit, was rather hard. he no one to really turn to, as his father became more and more closed off as his mother deteriorated. she died when asher was five, and that's when his father to into drinking, heavily. from that moment on, ash was alone. his only release was going to school. it was there that he struck up some friendships with interesting people, and got into music. it was hard going back home, so he often stayed out late, hanging out with his Friends to escape his father's abuse. it seemed to do the trick, along with getting lost in his music. his friends and his music were the driving force for getting him to wake up every morning, otherwise, he just didn;t seen any point. he wasn't focused at school however and often got himself into trouble. needless to say, he didn't want to sty there that long anyway.
when he was seventeen, he left home and school, wanting to pursue a career in music. he joined a couple of bands in his time, not that they ever got far or stood any test of time. until he joined beyond heart, he seemed to find where he belonged, at long last.
rp sample:One day...there would be one day when he didn't feel like this. well at least he hoped there would be. because honestly, this wasn't much of a life. Sure, he was in band, performing on stage. But was he truly happy? He thought he was, the release that the drugs gave him helping to feel that extra bit euphoric. But it was forever just a temporary high, not a permanent fix. That much Caleb knew very well. But for so long, he just didn't see the need to change. Mainly because he just couldn't. He was well and truly addicted , in this rut without any means of escape. It wasn't just the drugs, it was everything else.
He was so lost nowadays, he didn't have a clue what he was doing. Or even who...But he had since stopped being like that, after realizing that girls just simply didn't like to played. Okay so he knew that before, but he did notice he was hurting everyone, and that wasn't something he wanted to do. he tried pushing away his friends, and he thought it was working. there were further away from him than ever, mostly of his own accord and the fact they all had their own problems.
His shouldn't really get in the way of that..hence why he had taken to staying in a hotel, for the best part of two months now. He was certain no one really missed him, he only got in their way, half of the time. being in a hotel wasn't easy..not when you actually ran out of cash...He didn't want to admit it, but he probably owed much than he had on him now, his credit cards maxed out. Perfect. He had no money for coke, or anything, and tonight was the last night he had actually spent in the hotel. He was now wandering the streets, with Mars securely on her leash. He only carried one suitcase in his hand, that didn't content much, par from a few shirts and jeans and of course..a knife or two, and fragments of a broken mirror. Biting his lip, he was glad that it was late out, so he wouldn't be seen.
He couldn't really deal with anything right now, as he pulled down the sleeves of his jacket, concealing a cut that was still bleeding on his wrist. The pain...it was as if it didn't exist. no, his mind was more on the other pain he felt, the one when he was withdrawing. He was finding it difficult to stay in the sidewalk, walking in a straight. It was as if he was drunk, though, he was not, just trying not to focus on the non stop shaking his limbs were doing right about now.
He did not have a clear destination, though he did feel like just going back to the bus. He would be safe there, could hide, have a place to rest. But, right now, he didn't feel facing the music, or dealing with either of his band mates. All they did was get on his nerves, and honestly, he didn't feel like cracking u on them, like he was sure to do, and had done as of recently. Some alone time might be good, seeing how everyone left him anyway, something he kept on thinking to himself. He was better this way right?
There had been talk of tying to be 'fixed', especially by the girl he had only met just over a week ago. But, that was unlikely. Although....there was something telling him that was want he really wanted. It was just he couldn't tell if that could ever be possible. Still holding onto Mars leash tightly, he turned the corner and soon walked along the direction of the local park. That seemed to be a popular destination for him, for reasons, he wasn't actually sure. He just felt...safe, for some reason. Plus it was usually empty at this time, so he was content enough.
Wandering along shakily, his eyes went to the dimly lit playground, vacant as ever. He trundled along quietly, plonking himself on the swing, tossing his suitcase to the ground, whilst still holding onto the dogs leash. The shaking wouldn't top, he knew that, until he required some more. closing his eyes, he was trying his best to do something that he wanted. To fade away. Of course, that was blighted by the tug of the leash, as the dog seemed to get anxious and restless. His grip loosened as he failed to control his shivering hands, tugging at the sleeves of his jacket, noticing the chill. "Mars..." he whispered, as he noticed that the dog had now taken off, in the direction of a person that had entered the fray.
alias: neko
experience: four years?
