Post by aubrey victoria donovan on Dec 15, 2012 2:49:11 GMT -4
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ONLY BABY SCARS
- - - - I NEED YOU LOVE LIKE A BOY NEEDS HIS MOTHER'S SIDE
For the past couple of weeks, there's been an obvious change in Ms. Donovan. She hadn't been acting much like herself, which could be considered good or bad, depending on how you looked at it. Ever since that night she exploded and rained hell down on Travis, things haven't really been the same for her. His words had been like a twisting knife in her gut that only dug in deeper when she tried to pull it out. It was true, that no one cared for her unless they were trying to get her money. Not even her parents really bothered. They just presented her as their perfect daughter, excluding the fact that she had a raging temper and no way to deal with her problems. All she was good for was being just another pretty face and a cash cow. Other than that, there weren't too many good qualities about her. She was crazy jealous, selfish, manipulative, and unsure of how to just be normal. So that first night back in the bus had been like a hard kick in the teeth for her, making her realize just how messed up she was. She hated Travis because she liked him, more than she liked anyone else for the matter. Everything he said she took seriously because his opinion mattered, and when he was sarcastic, she couldn't really tell the difference. He could do so much better than her, but still he'd stuck around for so long, which showed that he had some sort of faith in her, but she'd thrown that all down the drain. She'd cut the last straw and now it was quite obvious that he wanted nothing to do with her, and she really couldn't blame him. If she'd been in his shoes, she probably wouldn't have wanted to talk to her either.
The blonde sighed lightly, forcing herself to take the meds she'd recently been given thanks to Tristan finally forcing her to go get checked out. Her bipolar disorder had just gotten way too out of hand and it was time for her to do something about it. She couldn't just continue going on acting as if she was normal, because she wasn't. There was something mentally wrong with her, and these pills were going to help mellow things out. And it had showed as of late. She felt rather... empty. There was no anger in her, but no happiness either. Aubrey was simply floating in the middle, which was a state of feeling nothing other than complete guilt and shame in herself. As well as some regret and feeling like she really was a mental patient. That was why she hadn't left the tour bus for the past few days and made Tristan swear not to tell anyone. She would have been mortified if anyone found out that she had to take medicine to keep her from attempting to kill someone.
By the time Aubrey finished getting ready, it was about 11:30. She didn't put on anything special, because she wasn't trying to impress Travis. Her chance with him was over, even though he had once said he wouldn't give up on her. There was no getting past this, but she still felt as if she owed it to him to at least apologize and confess a few things to him. I mean, after all, she'd probably drug him through hell and back again. So it really only seemed fair. And since she was in this rather tranquilly depressed state of mind, there was literally no chances of her freaking out on him. Well, at least not freaking out on him by yelling and throwing punches. Tears, however, were another story. She'd been wanting to cry for the longest time, but the tears never actually came. She just sat in her bunk and thought about how she fucked up the one good thing about her life; having someone who didn't necessarily cared about what she was wearing or how much money she had to spend, but simply liked her for her.
The walk to the diner was relatively short, so she got there a little earlier than expected. When she walked in, her cheeks were flushed red from the cold and stung slightly because of the sudden warmth. There were both tables and booths open, but since a booth seemed too intimate, she picked a small, round table to sit at. She was beyond nervous and scared, because this was the first time she was ever doing something like this. Admitting that she seriously messed up and that she was sorry, but would completely understand and respect his wishes should he not want to talk to her anymore. She'd come to terms with the fact that he'd probably given up on her, so she wasn't going to be angry with him for it. But still, she wanted to get this all off her chest before it ate her alive. Plus, Tristan had suggested it, and he normally knew the right things to do.
The blonde sighed lightly, forcing herself to take the meds she'd recently been given thanks to Tristan finally forcing her to go get checked out. Her bipolar disorder had just gotten way too out of hand and it was time for her to do something about it. She couldn't just continue going on acting as if she was normal, because she wasn't. There was something mentally wrong with her, and these pills were going to help mellow things out. And it had showed as of late. She felt rather... empty. There was no anger in her, but no happiness either. Aubrey was simply floating in the middle, which was a state of feeling nothing other than complete guilt and shame in herself. As well as some regret and feeling like she really was a mental patient. That was why she hadn't left the tour bus for the past few days and made Tristan swear not to tell anyone. She would have been mortified if anyone found out that she had to take medicine to keep her from attempting to kill someone.
By the time Aubrey finished getting ready, it was about 11:30. She didn't put on anything special, because she wasn't trying to impress Travis. Her chance with him was over, even though he had once said he wouldn't give up on her. There was no getting past this, but she still felt as if she owed it to him to at least apologize and confess a few things to him. I mean, after all, she'd probably drug him through hell and back again. So it really only seemed fair. And since she was in this rather tranquilly depressed state of mind, there was literally no chances of her freaking out on him. Well, at least not freaking out on him by yelling and throwing punches. Tears, however, were another story. She'd been wanting to cry for the longest time, but the tears never actually came. She just sat in her bunk and thought about how she fucked up the one good thing about her life; having someone who didn't necessarily cared about what she was wearing or how much money she had to spend, but simply liked her for her.
The walk to the diner was relatively short, so she got there a little earlier than expected. When she walked in, her cheeks were flushed red from the cold and stung slightly because of the sudden warmth. There were both tables and booths open, but since a booth seemed too intimate, she picked a small, round table to sit at. She was beyond nervous and scared, because this was the first time she was ever doing something like this. Admitting that she seriously messed up and that she was sorry, but would completely understand and respect his wishes should he not want to talk to her anymore. She'd come to terms with the fact that he'd probably given up on her, so she wasn't going to be angry with him for it. But still, she wanted to get this all off her chest before it ate her alive. Plus, Tristan had suggested it, and he normally knew the right things to do.
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